Roger jumped back and gasped as his heart leap into his mouth. If he had ever seen a larger spider up close before he couldn't remember when it would have been. Brown and hairy, with leathery legs and a gaping maw, it seemed to glare at him with menace. Shuddering, he looked about for something to trap it with. There was no way it was staying in his house and that was that.
How in the hell had it gotten in? Which circle of hell did it belong to? It didn't matter, he decided. What mattered was how he was going to get rid of it. There was no way he was going to smash it. It would surely make a nasty mess if he did, and he didn't fancy cleaning it up. Loath to take his eye off it lest it scuttle for cover, he glanced about for a container he could drop over it while he decided how to dispose of it.
He spotted his favorite coffee cup, but it was too small for a gargantuan beast like this, so that was out. The spider continued to stand it's ground, so he walked around the room looking for something larger to trap it with. Grabbing a bowl he thought might work, he turned back around, and to his horror the spider had disappeared.
Dropping onto the sofa he stared at the spot where it had been, wondering which direction it could have gone. Not really wanting to look for it, but knowing he had to if he was to have any peace of mind, he got up, armed himself with a rolled up magazine and went hunting. Some laundry he had left on the floor seemed a likely place. It was not far from where he'd encountered it, and didn't they like hiding in things like that? Steeling himself, he lifted the clothes, holding the magazine with menace and preparing to strike, but it wasn't there.
Thinking perhaps it had gone the other way he peeked behind the bookshelf. Nothing there either. Where in the hell had it gotten to? Searching everywhere in the room now he finally had to conclude that it had gotten away from him. Feeling scared, he knew he had to find it somehow. It was still in the house. He wouldn't relax until it was gone. Deciding to have a think about it, he went to this favorite recliner and was about to sit down when out of the corner of his eye he saw it and did some wild gyrations to avoid having his butt land on it. As he righted himself the spider lunged forward and flew through the air at him. Adrenalin pumping, he jumped backwards with all his might and the spider landed at his feet and darted left and headed under the sofa.
Standing still in stark terror with his hand on his chest, trying to still his pounding heart he felt an icy chill pass through him. This was madness. He was being confronted by a demented demon spider from hell with homicidal intent! Well, he decided, it may be a big, aggressive spider, but he was bigger by far, and if this spider wanted a fight to the death, well then, by god, it was going to get one.
Striding with purpose to the hardware drawer in the kitchen he went through everything he had and considered his options. Screwdriver? Maybe. He wondered idly what color it's blood would be if he impaled it. Pruning saw? No, that wouldn't do. Ah! Twenty pound claw hammer! He held it up in triumph. Yes, this would do nicely. He'd worry about the cleanup later. This was war, and he would take no prisoners.
Returning to the scene of the last confrontation he wondered if it was still under the sofa. Only one way to find out. Holding the hammer above his head he reached down and gave the sofa a mighty shove. There sat the spider, who reared back on its rear legs and appeared ready to lunge at him, but this time he was ready. He swung the hammer and the spider jumped at the same time, forcing Roger to sidestep and bringing the hammer down on the glass coffee table, smashing it to shards. The spider landed and ran for cover, Roger in hot pursuit. It headed up the floor lamp and he swung again, but missed. The floor lamp now lay in a twisted heap on the floor.
The spider ran to the middle of the room and turned and faced him. Roger could swear it hissed at him. He advanced on it and took another swing, but his hand was shaking badly and the spider scuttled sideways as the hammer made contact with the parquet flooring, leaving a nasty dent. The pursuit continued around the room, Roger swinging wildly and the spider leading him on a merry chase. Roger heard the front door open and his daughter came in, returning from her day at school.
She surveyed the carnage with a bewildered look on her face and then spotted the spider on the floor, which seemed to be looking at her.
"Sam! What are you doing out of your box?" She ran to her room and returned with a clear plastic box with a woody habitat in it, opened the lid and put it on the floor. The spider, much to Roger's horror scuttled to the box and climbed in. She closed the lid and took him back to her room.
When she came out she surveyed the room again and said, "Dad? What have you been doing? Hey, wait a minute! You weren't trying to kill Sam were you?!"
Roger put the hammer behind his back and looked sheepish. "No, darling, I, um, well...never mind. How was school today?"
