Lenny says i'm stupid. He says it all the time. Artie, he'll say to me, you know what your problem is? You're stupid. Then he laughs like a drain. I, of course have to laugh too. Lenny don't like it if I don't laugh.
Now me, I don't think i'm so dumb. I got ideas, see? I just keep most of them to myself. I think to myself that it's not good to be showin' your cards all the time. I figure that's part of the reason Lenny thinks i'm dumb. Take last April, for instance.
We were at this strip club in the East End and we're havin' a few beers and stuffin' tenners in the girls' g-strings, we're havin' a good 'ol time, like we do. Lenny is gettin' kinda loud and, you know, obnoxious, and the bartender is giving him the evils. Lenny don't like it when he gets the evils. I'm thinkin' there's gonna be trouble, so I tell him, hey, let's flush this toilet and find another joint. Now Lenny thinks it over and decides, yeah, what the hell, we can do that.
Is that so dumb? We avoided trouble. It was my idea. Anyway we pile into a cab and head down the strip for some more action. I'm always lookin' out for Lenny. Maybe it's because we go way back. We've known each other since high school, see? We even left together when we'd had enough of all that. That's when started dealin' dope and such. We never was ones for the nine to five life. Besides, you can't make no money at that sort of thing. Especially if you ain't got no education.
I love Lenny. I really do. He's my mate. Lemme tell ya about another time. We were doin' this deal with this guy we'd been introduced to. Said he was a real stand up guy. Me, I had a bad feeling, but Lenny says it's okay, we can do this thing. So we meet up at this abandoned warehouse he tells us about. We bring the money for the buy like the regular guys we are. We get there and he's got two other guys with him. Lenny says where's the stuff. He says where's the money. Me, my bad feeling is getting worse, but Lenny says show him the dough.
I walk over to this table and I open the case and show them. The guy reaches under the table like he's bringin' out the stuff, but i'm not buyin' it. I whip out my piece and ice him and the one on the right, Lenny takes out the one on the left. If Lenny had listened to me...well, anyway, like I said, I ain't so stupid.
The sons of bitches didn't even have nothin' on 'em, they were gonna do us and take the money. I won't even tell you what Lenny did to the guy who introduced us. It wasn't pretty. I heard he don't shit right no more. Damn shame, that. You gotta be careful is what. A lot of guys don't make it to retirement.
Some times I like to do things on my own. Lenny don't like that sort of thing, it's like he thinks he owns me or somethin'. Tells me i'm no good without him. I'm too stupid, i'll screw up, you know, like that. So I have to keep it on the down low when I step out on my own. If Lenny asks me where I been, I just tell him I had to take care of my mother. She's gettin' real old now and she needs me from time to time, and Lenny, bein' old school, don't give nobody grief about seeing after family, so it always works out. Like I said, I ain't so stupid.
I remember the time I bought him this really nice suit for his birthday. Had it tailor made for him. I lifted one of his suits so the tailor would know what to do. Lenny likes pinstripes, you see, so I tell the tailor to do something with that. I threw this big party for him, I even invited his favorite stripper to be the party favor, if you get my drift. Everything was goin' great until he opens my present. He looks at it and then throws it in my face. It's brown, he says. I don't wear no friggin' brown suit. Everybody was embarrassed for me, but I just told him how sorry I was, and that i'd make it ok. Me, I like brown. Whatdya gonna do?
So anyway, the reason i'm tellin' ya all this is because I want you to understand. Lenny and me, we're like this. I'd do anything for him. I don't mind so much about how he is. Other guys tell me I take too much from him, but I don't know. Anyway, I really thought it over for awhile. I decided maybe they were right, you know? So that's why the thing that happened last month happened.
It's like this. I had done one of my deals on the down low, like I do from time to time. It was a big buy, and I was kinda nervous goin' in on my own, but i've dealt with these guys before and it ain't never been a problem. So I do this thing, and it's all good, but when i'm going back to my place, I get this idea. Because i'd been thinkin' about what everybody had been sayin' about Lenny and me. Lenny wanted to go out on the town that night like we do , and well, I just sorta got this idea in my head.
I knew Lenny wanted to play some poker in the back room at this club we like. This guy I know told me the cops were onto the operation and it would be a good idea to lay low on all that for awhile. Says he thinks a raid might go down that night. I told him thanks. I asked him if there was a quick way out if the place got raided while we were there. He told me about this door behind a curtain at the back of the room that was supposed to be alarmed but it wasn't. That's when I go my idea. Because, you know, I ain't stupid. No matter what Lenny says.
Anyway, we go to the club and sure enough Lenny wants to play some poker. We give the password and they let us in the back room. Me, I can't concentrate, i'm thinkin' hard. I tell Lenny I gotta take a leak. He'd taken off his jacket and hung it on the back of the chair like he does. When I came back to the table, I slipped a little something in his pocket.
Well, sure enough, the place gets raided. Me, I see them comin' in and I run for the door at the back. I thought about grabbing Lenny, I really did, but you know, Lenny needed time to think. So I left him there. With an ounce of China White heroin in his jacket pocket. Lenny is doing ten years. He's not happy with me, he swears I did him.
You know what? I just want to make it all square between us. That's why I did it. I'm gonna visit him every week, and i'm gonna tell him how it's gonna be when he gets out. See, he can't do nothin' to me while he's in there, and I figure i've got ten years to make him see the light.
I'm doin' this for Lenny. Because we're like this.
